i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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