CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
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