If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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