found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
The air was thick with penises
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
