Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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