Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
