paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Randomize
