I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Randomize