eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize
