So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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