Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
