Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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