bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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