Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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