We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
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