I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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