he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
Randomize
