porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
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