I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
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