Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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