All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize