there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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