We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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