Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
