Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
