Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Randomize
