I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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