Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
