I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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