Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
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