Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
