your room smells of hookers.
And success
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Randomize