She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
