im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
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