He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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