If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Randomize
