I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
