I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
