capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
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