I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Randomize
