pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
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