Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
i just had sex bonerless
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
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