I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
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