I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
