Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Randomize
