When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
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