He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
my poor anus
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize
