I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Randomize
