her vagine was all disorganized.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
