So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Randomize
