Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
