No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Randomize
