Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize
