The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Randomize
