I hope mine doesn't look like that
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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