I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
