Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
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