Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I bet he comes in French.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Randomize
