another moral hangover. fuck.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
