I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
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