Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
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