Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
