My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize
