Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Randomize
