u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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