My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Randomize
